Hey, Apple, pimp my watch (please)

I went into my Apple Watch purchase last year with fairly modest expectations. I knew in just a couple years it would be the oversized Apple Watch with the underperforming battery and processor. I also knew the impulse purchase would mean having the version without a built-in camera. Buying the first iEdition of any Apple product means being the cool guy on the block for a year and then wildly outdated the next — just ask anybody who bought the first iPad.

Here’s the thing: that first iPad, all 20 pounds of it, was a darn cool device. It was like buying your first big screen except this time it was supersizing your smartphone. When I first got my Apple Watch I might have had lower expectations but I expected at least a few gee whiz moments. To be fair, the long white box was cool and the moment I strapped it to my wrist was cool but ever since than it has pretty much been “now what?”

It makes you realize how much we use mobile devices to consume information — whether it is the web or social media or even games and entertainment. The watch is pretty much a non-factor in all of those departments. Having such a small screen and no ability to type is a handicap for sure. I was bored within the first five minutes. In my initial review I likened Apple Watch to the moon. It does great things as a compliment to your iPhone but it’s no place you’d want to be isolated on. An Apple Watch does one thing great, tell time, and it makes for a great way to get notifications. The maps, Apple Pay, fitness tracking, apps and other features are all slow and feel half-baked.

I thought for sure Apple would beef up the experience with their version 2 software update which gave us some watch face additions and the ability for native apps. The problem with this is developers clearly don’t have any idea what to do with the watch either and have yet to come up with much in the way of apps. If you don’t have an Apple Watch, lick a postage stamp and stick it on your wrist and then tell me what you want it to do.

Perhaps there is good news on the way, at least some hope because when you are marooned in a digital device desert, hope makes for a mighty enticing mirage. During Apple’s recent developer’s conference Apple revealed there is a beefy software update coming in watchOS3. The major feature upgrade is that apps will now open up to seven times faster. This is great but I expected that speed from the get go. Apple is also rededicating the side button from a wonky friends portal to a bona fide dock and the old Glances swipe from the bottom now invokes a Control Center. There is also a fitness app called Breathe that uses the devices screen and haptic feedback to lead users through a series of breathing and meditation exercises. Will watchOS3 save the day? Not from what I see unless developers finally come up with a way to produce quality apps. Apple making them responsive is certainly a good start.

There have been rumors of upgradable bands with special health features built in such as blood pressure and bodily fluid analysis. Nothing seems imminent or even possible at this point. Many expected more health tracking features in the Apple Watch initially but certain functions were apparently scraped ahead of launch for reliability concerns.

There are too many leaks in the supply chain to hide the fact an Apple Watch 2 will probably launch in the Fall. You can bet it will be thinner, lighter and faster. Perhaps it will even have cellular connectivity to bring true independence from the iPhone. Some even suggest a Facetime camera in the screen. Whatever it might be, Apple has a long way to go before claiming victory in the watch arena. I’m just glad I didn’t spring for one of those $17,000 gold editions.