Goofus and other Goofus: Samsung and Apple lumped together

Did you hear that Samsung has recalled the Galaxy Note? Anyway, about Apple’s huge problems…

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and halfway house for the criminally obtuse, Bert Dohman declares a pox on both their houses.

“Samsung Catches Fire While Apple Sales Disappoint.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Tom Foerster, Alex Fleming Matthew Faltz

But, you say, Macalope, why should we listen to Dohmen when two years ago he was arguing that smartphones had become commoditized and Apple would lose market share and market share is sooooo important?

Now, you know the Macalope can’t hear you, right? Get help, Fred. This thing where you sit at home and pretend to talk to mythical cartoon technology pundits? This is no good.

Apple may not have its phones burning up, but it has other problems…

Other, demonstrably less severe problems. Yes, go ahead, caller.

…such as disappointing sales of the iPhone 7, so poor that for the first time, it didn’t even release first week sales.

[record scratch]

Uh, hang on there a second DJ Assumptions.

It is true that Apple has not reported iPhone 7 sales, however that was something it said it wasn’t going to do before the iPhone 7 was released. So, it’s quite possible that first week sales of this year’s iPhone were not as good as in previous years, but Dohmen doesn’t know this any more than he knows how to make a web site that doesn’t look like it was built in Yahoo SiteBuilder in 1999. Disappointing is also a relative term. They might not show growth, they might not be where Apple would prefer them to be, but they could still meet or beat the company’s estimates.

…it adds up when all the other “great hopes,” such as the Apple Watch, Apple Pay, Apple TV, etc. have fizzled.

Hey, it’s laundry list of secondary Apple products that would be consider highly successful if they were owned by anyone else time! OK, here we go. First, the Apple TV was never a “great hope”. Second, Apple Pay is quite successful and, even if it were only moderately successful, is still like printing free money. And the Apple Watch? Why does the Macalope have to keep going over this? It’s like these pundits don’t read his repeated takedowns of “Apple Watch Flop” arguments. Do the required reading, Bert, or drop the class.

The Apple Watch has probably sold more than seven or eight times as many units as the “hit” Amazon Echo, netting it second place in revenue in the overall watch category. The only company that’s not considered a home run for is the company that actually makes the thing. Anyone saying that’s a “fizzle” either has no idea what they’re talking about or is selling something else.

The market perception is that Apple will be the big beneficiary of Samsung’s problem. I disagree.

The Macalope does, too. Apple will benefit, but probably not as much as other Android vendors.

…its Mac computer has had a sales plunge of over 13%, much more than the decline in PC’s.

Which might have something to do with the fact that it’s been two years since the Mac mini was updated, three years since the Mac Pro was and a ridiculous four years for the MacBook Pro. Supposedly we’re just days from being shot up again on this jerky old fair ride, which is good. Because if Apple wants to sell Macs, it should try making them again. But, when they do, they could end up have a few exceptional quarters for the device this horny prognosticator is named after.

Apple does have a problem with iPhone sales. But its problem is that the market has matured to the point where there just isn’t as much room to grow. Imagine being in that position and having one of your flagship products blow up in your face. Doesn’t seem in the same ballpark.