Using Your iPhone 7 in the Shower Is the Latest Status Symbol

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In 250 BC, Greek mathematician Archimedes sat down in a public bath and realized that the volume of water displaced equaled the volume of his body. This was the birth of the “eureka!” moment, and the realization that I could use my iPhone 7 in the shower this weekend was exactly the same.

“This shouldn’t be happening,” I thought. “But it is.” As hot water trickled down the screen of my new phone for the first time, I felt a compulsion to pull it to safety. I did skimp on AppleCare, after all. But when my phone continued to play music and load all of the most recent death threats in my Twitter mentions—just like it does when it is not in the shower—I began to feel more comfortable. Not only that, I felt enlightened.

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Like a superhero that had finally realized his strength, I suddenly felt superior to all of my peers who don’t have the capability to obsessively respond to emails while also taking a refreshing shower. A quick search of Twitter confirmed what I had suspected: using your iPhone in the shower is the latest status symbol.

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Some may say that this feature takes away some of our most precious time alone, the time free from the mental stranglehold that our phones have over us.

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But they’re wrong. Use your phone in the shower and feel the power.