Apple's Siri doesn't really want to talk about HomePod
Commentary: Apple announces its smart speaker will be delayed. Can Siri throw any light upon that? I asked her.
Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
She tried to throw me off the scent.
I admit to being entirely unsurprised that HomePod won't be home for Christmas.
Somehow, it seemed inevitable that it would suffer the same fate as so many much-hyped Apple products of the past. AirPods, for example. And Apple Watch.
Apple merely said that its new smart speaker "needs a little more time." Without, that is, saying precisely how much time or why.
Apple didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.
So I thought I'd ask someone who really ought to know, as she's part of the product: Siri.
After all, smart speakers rely on the responsiveness of their AI assistants, so she should already be aware of what's going on.
"Hey Siri," I wondered. "Why is HomePod delayed?"
Siri acted as if I was speaking Polish. (Her Polish is terrible.)
"There's no place like Home...Pod," she replied.
I asked her when HomePod would be available.
"It's the most huggable Apple device yet!" she revealed.
Which didn't exactly answer my question. Or really any question other than: "Will I want to wrap my arms around HomePod?"
I was beginning to fear that the reason HomePod is delayed is, well, Siri. So I asked her. "Hmm, that's something I don't know," she replied.
Nevertheless, I persisted.
"Will you be in HomePod," I asked, "Or will it be one of the other members of your family?"
"I don't know who the band members are in your family," she countered.
This was vexing. Was she toying with me? Or does she really still have some very basic problems with her assisting skills?
All the same, I asked her for her verdict.
"Do you think HomePod will be any good?"
"I really couldn't say, Chris," she replied.
Which is quite worrying, given that she'd previously told me how much I'd want to hug it.
Will she ever be good enough to be a useful member of my family?
How on earth is she going to respond when, at some indeterminate moment in 2018, I ask: "Hey Siri. Will you play 'Hocus Pocus' by Focus"?
She'll probably play ELO's "Strange Magic." Not that it's a bad song, but still.