Apple 'wellness' unit launched for staff: The genius will see you now

Faulty Apple units can now be taken in for repair, with Cupertino having reportedly opened a care service dedicated to fixing staff.

The tech giant appears to be opening a series of health clinics called AC Wellness for its employees and their families.

The AC Wellness site describes the venture as "an independent medical practice dedicated to delivering compassionate, effective healthcare to the Apple employee population" which is "coming this Spring."

The home page features a group of happy young people in front of a fire on the beach - rather than, say, a bunch of fat middle-aged nerds hunched over their desks eating soggy sandwiches.

Apparently the centres "offer a unique concierge-like healthcare experience for employees and their dependents. Candidates must have an appreciation for the patient experience and passion for wellness and population health — integrating best clinical practices and technology in a manner that drives patient engagement."

Jobs advertised include a 'Behavioural Health' partner, intended to help "patients improve health and wellness through sustainable behaviour change"; a phlebotomist, tasked with doing blood draws from patients to help diagnose illness; and a clinical exercise coach.

Sources told CNBC, the centres will initially only serve Apple's employees in Santa Clara County, where its headquarters are located via two clinics.

The blabbermouths said the company would use its medical clinics to test its growing range of health services – and tech products. Apple declined to comment on this.

So, in future, we all could have access to Apple's proprietary care services – which will presumably be voided if customers see a non-Apple-credited genius doctor at any point. ®