Wallet phone cases have always seemed like a total absurdity to me. Am I wrong?
My phone is a very large concentration of value in an easy-to-lose, easy-to-break package that I’m constantly waving around recklessly. The next time you plop your phone down on a bar, which is a dark place buzzing with dizzy people holding containers full of liquid, remember that what you’re really doing is placing $600 to $1,000 in a situation in which it might instantly vaporize.
Now, what if I took that already precious treasure and stuck it in case that substantially increased the accumulation of value in one place by adding my driver’s license, MetroCard, ATM card, and credit card to the package? What if such a case made it possible to combine the pain of losing my phone with the inconvenience of losing my wallet in a brief moment of carelessness? We need not wonder, because that’s exactly what a wallet case does.
A wallet case turns an essential, expensive object into a thing that’s basically invaluable and super hard to replace. Suddenly every important and useful thing you need every day is stored in one teensy container. What would you even do if you lost this? I don’t have landline! I can’t call the bank to cancel my cards. I can’t buy a phone to call the bank because I have no money. My passport is expired, so when I go to the bank, I can’t identify myself to get an ATM card. I suppose my first course of action would be to dredge up my birth certificate and go to the DMV to get a new license. THE DMV! Rest in peace Mario, he starved to death in the waiting room.
This my friends is the reality of the wallet case.
And yet, a lot of people do use these, including people I know and respect. I see people on the subway playing Candy Crush, the cover of their folio-style wallet case folded back, all of their cards just flapping in the wind. And don’t just take my word for it: The Silk iPhone wallet case has nearly 2,000 reviews on Amazon with an average score of 4.5 stars. People not only use these cases—they love them!
In the spirit of adventure, I tried the snazzy TwelveSouth case pictured in this post, and I admit, there were some things I liked. I got very used to not carrying around a bulk in my back pocket. I even put my keycard for the office in it, and it felt very futuristic to unlock the office door by holding my phone up to the fob sensor. But in the end, I took the case off before a trip. It just seemed too foolish to risk losing everything at once.
Are you a masochist who stares into the void each day with a combination wallet and phone case? If so, what gives? Please, tell me, I want to understand.