Get ready to learn a shocking new fact about pricing! You will truly be astounded.
Writing for the Forbes contributor network and burlap underwear outlet, Gordon Kelly says the “New iPhone Leak Exposes Apple’s Nasty Surprise.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Alberto.)
If you’re not familiar with Kelly’s work, don’t get incensed at the use of “Nasty Surprise.” For him it’s a tic, like the Comic Book Guy calling everything “Worst ever!” or Voldemort using “Avada Kedavra” all the time.
There are literally thousands of spells, Tom! Does it always have to be murder? You’re actually a lousy wizard, Riddle. There. The Macalope said it. Just the worst.
There’s a lot to love about Apple’s new 2018 iPhones.
Uh… did the Macalope miss an announcement? He kind of watches this stuff closely so that would be surprising but…
Personally, my favourite thing is…
Lasers?
…the most exciting model will also be surprisingly cheap.
Oh.
The worst thing is…
Each device ships with a plague monkey?
…new information reveals this budget marvel will look different to its more expensive stablemates…
Oh. Zero for two, Macalope. You’re not very good at rumors. You’re like the Voldemort of rumors.
How will it look different and presumably horrible?
…Apple’s new budget iPhone X will have noticeably thicker bezels.
How noticeably? Sorta noticeably.
It’s devastating.
You can see the bezels here but be warned! Images of bezels larger than a string of spaghetti are not to be viewed by those with sensitive constitutions, such as children, pregnant women and fainting-couch-owning Forbes contributors!
At its worst, you’ll see that when modelled by Mac Otakara (below) the budget iPhone X (which I expect will simply be named ‘iPhone’ like the entry level ‘iPad’ and ‘MacBook’) looks cumbersome and almost like a toy version of the other two.
It is like a toy! For the children! With the gigantic bezels of several millimeters!
Kelly does finally admit that maybe the cheaper model might get cut some slack because, you know, it’s cheaper.
I personally believe consumers should be able to overlook this and the other compromises the budget iPhone X makes because of how it keeps the price down.
Hmm. Consumers might actually understand that the less expensive model would not have all the features of the more expensive models. Interesting. This being the case, then, it’s almost like the fact that it might have larger bezels isn’t surprising at all, nor is it nasty. Which is weird because the Macalope feels certain he just read somewhere that it was both.