Ask Alex: Can I Use My Phone at the Dinner Table?

While I know it's inappropriate to pull out a cell phone during dinner, I do wonder whether there are caveats to that rule: Is it OK while you're having a casual meal with family, or perhaps during a lull in conversation with friends?

—Dinner With Phones

No.

Pulling out your phone during dinner is basically like saying, "Hold on just a second. You're marginally interesting, but I'm just going to see if I can find anything better." It doesn't matter who you're with—it makes you look like a jerk. Don't be a jerk.

If you're expecting an important call, you probably shouldn't be out to dinner in the first place. And if you absolutely must check your phone, fake a trip to the bathroom and do it there—if you can't give someone your full attention for an hour, you should at least make them feel like you can.

And even putting social decorum to the side entirely for a second, it's probably in your best interest to put the phone away during dinner as well. Think about it, cell phones are already everywhere—I'm checking mine in between pauses while writing this. We spend so much of our day connected—checking email, sending texts, perusing the top 20 Hollywood plastic surgery disasters—that it's probably good to take a quick break, if only for the span of a meal.

There are no exceptions to this rule. Okay there are actually a couple. If you're in a relatively relaxed setting, and you have a funny text message to share, or scantily clad screenshots of a mutual friend on a hookup app, then by all means break it out over appetizers. Just remember to ignore the missed texts and put the phone away right after.

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Is there any way to end an email that doesn't come off as a cheesy sign-off slogan?

—Tears for Cheers

No.

But how about this? Don't use a sign-off at all.

Best, Cheers, Sincerely, Take care, Thanks, and the countless iterations of Regards (Best, Kind, and Warm, to name just a few) are among some of the most common valedictions we assign to emails, and for the most part, they tend to elicit the exact opposite of their intended purpose.

For instance, does anything sound less sincere than signing an email with "Sincerely"? And what does "Best" even mean? You're the best? That was the best conversation ever? This is the best email I've ever sent? And I hate to break it to anyone that uses it, but few things make me cringe more than the overused Britishism "Cheers." I get it—you're cool and unique and super creative. You probably blog. But Cheers doesn't make you sound cultured or worldly or like a character from a P.G. Wodehouse novel. It's basically just the Warm Regards of the 2010s.

So why not drop the sign-off entirely? After all, these are all terms left over from letter writing, and let's face it—most digital correspondence doesn't aspire to such lofty goals as a handwritten note. Your sign-off is being completely disregarded at best, and misinterpreted at worst ("Oh no, she did not just tell me to take care after dumping all this extra work in my lap").

Ask Alex If you can't bear to see the end of your message trail off into the digital ether, stick your name on the bottom. It's curt, it's honest, and it won't be misunderstood. And if you're sending something really official, like a cover letter, then fine, Sincerely won't hurt. But go ahead and ditch the signature otherwise and see how freeing it feels.

And while we're on the topic, I'd like to take a moment to address anyone that still uses a canned auto-signature: Stop it. It's one thing to include your contact info on the bottom of new emails. But it's quite another to attach "Thanks!" to the end of everything you send. Most of the time it doesn't even make sense, and sometimes it can be flat-out offensive ("Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks!"). So please, even if you can't quit sign-offs, at least drop the auto-signature and use something relevant.

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My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. She thinks it's time to swap online passwords (for Facebook, Gmail, the works). I think it's too soon, but I don't want to cause a fight. Am I in the wrong?

—Password Access So Soon?

No.

If your significant other wants to know your password for Netflix or HBO GO that's one thing. Make sure it's different from the rest of your passwords, and be prepared for some weird stuff to show up in your queue (I know I'm not the one that added Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle and Glitter to mine). And if she wants the password to access your computer, your iPad, or some other shareable gadget, I think it's fine to give those up too.

But if your partner wants the password to your email account, your answer should be a resounding "no." I've got nothing to hide, but if someone wanted to access my email account at will I'd think that's pretty creepy. The same goes for Facebook, or any other social network. Sure, most of what you do is broadcast to the public, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep your private messages private.

And if she won't take no for an answer, PASS, I suggest first changing any passwords you may have already shared, and then changing your girlfriend.

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Need some tech etiquette advice? Check to see if your question has already been answered, or send Alex an email at [email protected].