Ask Alex: How Not to Offend With Headphones

When you're getting into the elevator in the morning, pre-coffee, and a coworker steps on, is it necessary to remove your earphones to be open for conversation, or can you simply nod hello, continue listening to your music, and quickly seek caffeination?

—Headphoning It In

Nod hello—while removing your headphones.

Trust me, your day will still be complete if you don't get to hear the last 20 seconds of new Kylie Minogue song. Terry Gross will still be there to complete the interview the next time you press play.

Do what I do: Take your headphones off as soon as you enter the building, to avoid that moment when you do come face to face with a colleague, and miss the first second of what she said because the music was too loud, then spend the duration of the elevator ride winding your headphone cord around your index finger for reasons you can't explain.

Even if you don't wind up talking, at least you'll look like a kind, thoughtful person. Also, by doing this, there's no way anyone will know you were listening to Kylie Minogue on your commute.

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When, if ever, is it appropriate to take a personal phone call at the office? Can I get away with talking quietly at my desk, or should I always step away to a quiet corner? Or, should I just tell my family and friends to never call me during the work day?

—Call Me, Maybe?

This depends entirely on where you work. If you're in the type of office where the occasional personal call isn't frowned upon, then I think you're good to go. That said, there are a number of ways to go about it correctly.

• No more than one personal call per day. Actually, make that no more than one per week. No one notices the occasional personal call. Everyone notices the daily 11:00 a.m. just-checking-in with your significant other call.
• If your doctor is calling to confirm an appointment, you can probably answer at your desk. If you're calling to schedule a Brazilian wax, you should probably find a secluded area.
• Keep your call short. If you know it's going to take more than a few minutes, call from a place where you won't interrupt anyone.
• Make sure your phone is set to vibrate. Always. Not everyone likes Robyn as much as you do. (I do, but still.)
• Schedule calls around the same time you take lunch, then make them outside.
• Even if you just got a puppy, don't ask to speak to the dog.
• Even if you just had a child, don't ask to speak to the baby.
• In fact, don't ask to speak to anything that can't talk.
• Never make a call from the bathroom. Gross.
• Teach your mom how to text instead.

And if you happen to have your own office, the above rules need not apply. Close your door, put your feet up on your desk, and dial away.

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I still haven't joined Facebook, but I'm finally ready to take the plunge. The thing is, I'm really concerned about privacy. Is it OK to use a fake name as long all the information I post is actually me? I'm not trying to deceive anyone?I just want to make it harder for anyone that isn't my friend to find me.

—Paranoid About Privacy

Before I get to your question, PAP, consider this: I met a friend of a friend, Matt, at a bar a year or so ago. He sent me a friend request on Facebook the next day, which I accepted, and we've hung out a few times since then. But it wasn't until last week that I found out I never knew his last name.

Ask Alex Well, I knew his last name. But I knew his last name on Facebook, not his real one. You see, Matt is now dating another mutual friend. This friend and I were having drinks recently, and I asked, "How the hell do you say Matt's last name anyway," since this isn't the sort of question you ask a friend of a year themself.

That's when I learned that his last name online is actually a scrambled up version of his real last name. That explains why it was basically unpronounceable, but it doesn't explain why he wouldn't just use his real name in the first place. And it's kind of annoying.

So here's the thing, PAP. If you're that concerned about privacy, you probably shouldn't join Facebook in the first place. After all, the very nature of Facebook is sharing information about yourself. And it kind of ruins things for everyone else when they don't even know your real last name. It makes them think, what else is he hiding? Okay, maybe it doesn't, but it does make you seem at least a little shady.

Also, that's what privacy settings are for. Yes, Facebook privacy settings have often been a thing of debate, but if you hide all of your private information, you really don't need to worry about prospective employers combing through your timeline and seeing pictures from last Halloween when you dressed up like Cher from the If I Could Turn Back Time video. Just don't make it your profile picture and you're all good.

Also, if the rest of your information is indeed actually you, you might as well put a name to your face. I think that, nowadays, not being able to find someone on Facebook would give most people pause more than a goofy profile picture.

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Need some tech etiquette advice? Check to see if your question has already been answered, or send Alex an email at [email protected].