Must We Vilify Satya Nadella?

I know that it makes a good meme. And I know that we all love it when a powerful leader puts his foot in it and states something that either is preposterous or impolitic. And I know we all love to pile on in outrage over social media when something like this happens. Heck, I do too sometimes. But I think we may be being a bit counterproductive here. And I think we are taking some cheap shots.

Because the conversation around women, promotions, raises, and getting and asking for your due, is nuanced, inconvenient, and sometimes based on what we want to be true rather than what is.

After all, the Microsoft CEO was addressing the highly prestigious women in technology conference, the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing, on Thursday as the first man to ever do so. That took some real commitment. And, he was being hosted by his board member, computer scientist Maria M. Klawe (Microsoft now has 3 women board members, thought to be the beginnings of best governance practice) who is also the first woman to lead Harvey Mudd College (of engineering). And she opened by saying she adores him. This is not the profile of a woman-hating Philistine, it seems to me. Perhaps – or most certainly – he has been a bit naïve, but we can help him with that.

Advice Well-Meant

In fact, Mr. Nadella was passing along career advice that had worked very well for him when he said to the audience: “It’s not really about asking for the raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will actually give you the right raises as you go along...That, I think, might be one of the additional superpowers that, quite frankly, women who don’t ask for a raise have. Because that’s good karma. It’ll come back because somebody’s going to know that’s the kind of person that I want to trust. That’s the kind of person that I want to really give more responsibility to. And in the long-term efficiency, things catch up.”

Hitting A Raw Nerve

With those words, Mr. Nadella was hitting not only a raw nerve, but a raw reality. He was passing along, in all good conscience I am sure, advice that had been given to him by his boss, many years ago. But even though it did work for him, it doesn't work as well for women. And most women do NOT have faith in the systems that have disadvantaged them for so long. So, these were, unbeknownst to him, fighting words.

Women make less than men in comparable roles, research study after research study has confirmed. Thus the system does not work as well for them. Yet, they are in what is called a “double bind,” because asking for salary increases doesn't seem to work so well, either.

Research by Harvard’s Hannah Riley Bowles and Carnegie Mellon’s Linda Babcock has come up with some quite controversial findings around salary negotiation that actually buttress some of Nadella’s points: “…Sometimes it does hurt to ask.” They have found that women face “real social and financial risks … when initiating compensation negotiations.”  They have also found that when women cite competing job offers in salary negotiations, though their financial outcomes may improve, their social outcomes suffer.

This is the inconvenient truth behind women’s double bind in salary and promotion negotiation that Mr. Nadella was unknowingly skirting. What he did not know was that even if his advice is factually correct (which we can debate), it is antithetical to most women. And it is a reality they know they must change.

Every woman in that audience knew it.

Hardly A Criminal Offense

But it was hardly a criminal offense. Right now when – finally – the spotlight is being focused on the abysmal record of tech firms in hiring, promoting, retaining, and paying women leaders...it is very appealing to use this misstep as the focus for our rage. Just as, geopolitically, it is often just when the restrictive pressure of autocratic regimes is lifting that the protests grow even worse...releasing years, decades, centuries of pent-up frustration. Often the wrong people, friends, are targeted as bad actors…while the real villains are given a pass.

So this manifestation against Mr. Nadella is short-sighted, in my opinion. Why not use this opportunity to create a true ally, and not an enemy? Given the fact that women's double-bind seems intractable, especially in technology...now that Mr. Nadella has been "sensitized" to how things work differently in women's careers from men's, why can't we recruit him to help redress the inequity? He can be a powerful ally to solve a serious, global leadership problem.

Lots of men don't "get it." Lots of men don’t want to. And many men "get it" only imperfectly, but are open to course correction.

What we need now – all of us who have been working for gender equality in leadership, position and compensation – is a nuanced conversation focused on swift and effective action – not soapbox slogans. Women can not do this alone, and we can recruit those who are willing to our side...not alienate them for life. I for one think that Satya Nadella is the perfect candidate for an activist ally. Why not concentrate on that?