When I'm texting a friend, I never ask "can I touch your...?" It turns out, however, that both Apple and Microsoft have me covered in a variety of ways if I do want to... touch things. Microsoft's latest Windows 10 Mobile operating system has a clever way of suggesting words based on whatever was entered previously. So, for example, if you write "can I touch your" it will bring up a variety of words it thinks you'll want to use.

If you're using a US keyboard then these could be face, house, phone, and even mom or body. Mom is clearly a weird one, but the UK keyboard gets a little more racy: lips, pussy, boobs, and body are the top suggestions. These suggestions are created primarily from anonymous usage to help improve the keyboard. If you keep using the phrase "can I touch your mind" then mind will eventually replace one of the top results, but by default the downloaded suggestions will take priority on a fresh phone.

From left to right: iOS, Windows Phone, Android

Microsoft isn't alone in its suggestive text suggestions, though. My iPhone wants me to touch butts — hearts and faces, too, but primarily butts. Android is a lot more mundane, with suggestions including email, heart, and help. Heart is clearly for the poets, but I'm not sure I want to be friends with people who want to touch my email.

I'm sure there are thousands of people sexting each other all day, so perhaps Apple and Microsoft's suggestions are just honest. I don't care about the touching, but I'd just like Apple to make sure my iPhone says ducking each ducking time instead of ducking every other ducking time. Thanks.