Young people prefer an Internet connection to daylight
Technically Incorrect: A UK survey suggests that daylight isn't all that -- at least in young people's enlightened minds. Neither is hot water. But they do love the idea of more followers on social media.
Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
Who needs more than this?
It isn't youth that's wasted on the rays of sunshine that are the young.
It's the rays of sunshine.
It's the sharp light of noon or the streaks of a new morn breaking through the cracks in the drapes.
I know this because I've just read the results of a survey that asked young British people to name the five most important things that ensured their quality of life.
As The Huffington Post reports, their first choice was freedom of speech.
This is odd, as in Britain it's far easier for rich people to sue people who say things they don't like than it is in, say, the US.
What you might find most moving, however, is that 69 percent of these 2,465 youths picked an Internet connection as an essential, whereas only 64 percent chose daylight.
A perfectly filthy 57 percent selected hot water.
I suppose some will be outraged that an Internet connection is seen as so vital. But many 18- to 25-year-olds prefer to spend their time in the dark with just their gadgets for company.
After all, those gadgets offer them a link to everything they need: fake friends and fake sex.
Daylight can be quite jarring, especially if you've been up until four in the morning enjoying your favorite fake activities.
You'll be wondering who sponsored this work. Stunningly, it was a company called Hillarys, which happens to make blinds.
Still, I fear that some might hear these results and consider the youth of today dimwits.
I prefer to think that, with the advent of all-powerful gadgets, our instincts and priorities are simply changing.
I know this because of another result from the survey that made my heart pour grief. A fulsome 14 percent of these young respondents believed that the one change that would improve their lives would be "having a bigger following on social media."
It seems quite obvious what sort of daylight more Twitter followers can bring.
It makes you feel like someone, rather than a no one ululating into a vacuum. It's a source of approval, respect and, who knows, money.
Honestly, what's daylight ever done for us, except for forcing us to wake up when we don't want to, and exposing all our flaws?
Mother Nature has never been kind to the young. Now, at least, they've found a replacement.